Archive for the ‘Confessions of a New Aeon’ Category

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

Δένδρον is the greek word Dendron. It means tree. It is also where in neuroscience we derive the word dendrite which are the little pieces of neuron that are constantly growing and receding within one’s brain.

It is also my magickal motto, and at my next O.T.O. initiation, I will be asked to be known as Frater Δένδρον. Δένδρον is listed as my name in my talismanic copy of Liber AL vel Legis, and it is also listed as my name on my certificate of baptism from the Ecclesia Gnostica Catholica.

When I began this project, my current travels in the Great Work, I had very little knowledge about the O.T.O., Aleister Crowley, Thelema, Qabalah, Hermetic Science, Gematria, the Chakras, and many things that people feel you must master utterly before you can take even the tiniest steps in the Great Work.

What I did have was extensive knowledge of neo-paganism and LeVeyan Satanism from my adolescence. I practiced rituals from both traditions quite liberally and had my own coven more than once in both middle school and high school. I have extensive knowledge of Charismatic Christianity, which includes several mystical experiences such as speaking in tongues, being slain in the spirit, and a tradition in belief in the ability of the Christian to manifest the miraculous. In this time I served as a youth pastor, and diligently read the entire bible more than once. I was aware of some of the gnostic scriptures, such as the Gospel According to Thomas, and the Gospel According to Mary, and accepted them as part of my Christian faith. I had a brief conversion to Islam between Christianity and my long strident atheist phase (which I would argue I am still in). I rejected Islam due to the prominence of dogmatism and fundamentalism, but not before reading the Q’ran and learning about Rumi.

Then I got my neuroscience degree.

I will be the first to admit that I have a lot to learn. But I don’t agree with the tone of some of the people who have reached out to me. This tone is patronizing. This tone addresses me as I would address someone I was convinced had total ignorance. I wish people would take into consideration that whatever I may lack in skills in speaking Enochian, reading Runes, memorizing Liber 777, I do have a pretty contemporary understanding of how the brain works. I spent years doing social psychology experiments and molecular neuroscience experiments under the guidance of at least 4 well established and regularly published academic scientists. I went well beyond the demands of the undergraduate and was trying to make myself as attractive a graduate candidate as possible. This knowledge, more than any other, guides my work.

I welcome feedback, but while you may know everything about the hidden sephiroth, I know how your emotions process incoming perceptual information and influence memory storage. I know about several habits of human self-deception which are down right instinctual. I know how to trick the brain into doing more than it wants. And I see that there is much of this encoded in the ancient traditions of occultism.

During this period I was a militant atheist. Which I believe also informs my work. One must always have a stance of critical thinking, one must always doubt. One must always be able to question anything. This merely frees the magician to a greater range of understanding.

Also throughout my youth and into the present I have used psychedelic drugs. At present this consists primarily of psilocybin mushrooms, LSD, and salvia. I don’t use them that frequently, more like every few years or so.

When I was finishing college I went through a very rough divorce and sank into a powerful depression. I remembered that in my religious days I was more resistant to depression, and that had greater psychological resilience in general, and most important of all: I had tremendous level of energy to put into my creative projects (which I thought were divinely inspired). I wanted this back without compromising my reason, my skepticism, my need to not be gullible.

It began with meditation. I found two experts well respected in neuroscience: Jon Kabat-Zinn, and Riche Davidson. So I followed their meditation techniques, which only slightly deviate from traditional Zen and Tibetan meditation styles.

I did this for over a year.

In that time I met my current wife, we moved in together, I started my current dayjob (which if I wasn’t so ambitious I would call my career). I kept working on my meditation practice.

My dayjob is harrowing. Its known for being harrowing. I had a very hard time finding the self discipline to meditate on a daily basis, but I kept doing it sporradically.

Somewhere in the process I began to read punk rock books about meditation, and started hanging out with my artistic collaborator and good friend Thor Johnson. Thor is a psychadelic artist who works mostly with computers and music. He is also well versed in all kinds of esoterica, has his own hodgepodge of interesting spiritual backgrounds, and I consider him to be a powerful and well developed mage.

Thor was my first teacher in the Great Work, and he expanded my reading list and interests. It was around this time that I became aware of the O.T.O. mostly due to Thor’s description of O.T.O. parties he had been to. Or rather parties conducted by initiates.

I started listening to O.T.O. podcasts, and other kinds of strange stuff. While I still considered (and still consider) myself a skeptic, I was beginning to disagree with much of what could be thought of as a skeptical canon.

I began to experiment with ritual magick again, mostly based on the Santeria of my cultural background and the Satanism and neo-paganism I was already familiar with. I did not believe I was doing anything more than psychologically reshaping myself. I believed, and still believe, ritual magick is a kind of positive psychology using archetypal memes to influence our emotions which in turn influence the whole nervous system.

Then on the 4th of July, 2008 I had a mystical experience.

I did LSD with my oldest friends in my home town of Lubbock, Texas. I spent the whole trip doing a series of drawings I called “Wizard Prison,” which are still one of my favorite pieces of art work. My car was destroyed in a flash flood and I returned to Dallas without a car. This was a kind of initiation if I have ever seen one.

Obviously more things happened then what I am describing, but I am focusing on key points.

It was at this time that I believe I became Δένδρον. It was at this time that the Psychonautical Order of Δένδρον was born.

At this point I will stop describing the birth of this idea and begin to describe the idea itself.

  • The Psychonautical Order of Δένδρον is a mystical order of Knights dedicated to the protection of the muses.
  • The muses are defined as memes which benefit humanity, each Knight of Dendron is entrusted with the muses that move her and she must see them spread and protected.
  • The Psychonautical Order of Δένδρον is fundamentally atheistic since it sees the memes as  the source of religions, transcendental practices, and other so called spiritual disciplines. We believe, as do traditional meme experts, that these things replicate and evolve according to Darwinistic principles.
  • The Psychonautical Order of Δένδρον does however consider consciousness to be a mostly open philosophical question, and believes that our understanding of sentience is primitive at best. Who knows what minds beyond our own are subject to the spread of memes, or even if their is some kind of mind within meme complexes themselves.
  • The Psychonautical Order of Δένδρον has high standards for membership, no one can apply, or join. One must be inducted with ink mixed with the blood of a current Knight of Δένδρον, by that Knight. At present there is only one Knight of Δένδρον and I have not inducted anyone. This is the third year I have called this my religion.
  • The Psychonautical Order of Δένδρον considers many memes to be Knights of Δένδρον. This includes the biblical Eve who is considered the first Knight of Δένδρον, and the fruit of the forbidden tree of knowledge the first muse.
  • The Knights of Δένδρον are a paramilitary religious order, and see their mission to protect and spread the muses as a jihad. Though we believe that memecraft, or art, is the most powerful weapon in this struggle and that violence is not a particularly effective technique.
  • A Knight of Δένδρον must have an AUM wall, or a psychological forcefield of positive psychology to protect her from psychic vampires and draining of energy in the trivium of ordinary life. A Knight of Δένδρον must be stronger than humans.
  • A Knight of Δένδρον is conscious of of energy flows and has a vampiric mouth upon their hands for both giving and taking energy as needed. This vampiric mouth exists in the psyche of the Knight, but is as essential as the AUM Wall.
  • A Knight of Δένδρον is free to disregard any images, memes or techniques prescribed by Δένδρον in favor of their own muses.

 

I have a lot more written than this, but these are key principles which I have been living by since I penned the idea.

I expect at some point I will induct other Knights of Δένδρον, I have already promised this to so many of my friends.

I have since joined the O.T.O. and consider Thelema also to be my religion. The way I balance this equation is that one need not be a Thelemite to be a Knight of Δένδρον, but Δένδρον is a Thelemite. So there will always be a relationship.

I consider it one of the first pangs of my True Will when I created this religion for myself, to answer a lack that I found since abandoning religion altogether. I also believe that my finding the O.T.O. and Thelema have been part of my work as a Knight of Δένδρον and have since become muses under my care.

At present Thelema comes first. But The Psychonautical Order of Δένδρον is  always there, always part of my work, always a filter by which I interpret the world. I decided that it was about time that I posted something about it here so that as questions arise about traditions and techniques I use I could point to something a little more thorough than just “I make a lot of stuff up.”

I have hundreds of pages written in my magickal record about the Psychonautical Order of Δένδρον. It has its own calendar, this month is called Krampus. It is the second month of the third year.

There are many magickal techniques that I have created solely for the Psychonautical Order of Δένδρον, though I continue my work in Thelema and Buddhist Meditation concurrently.

I hope this clarifies my approach a little.

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Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

My adventures continue evolving. But doesn’t this happen to us all?

I have decided that it was high time to do another diary style entry. In case some of you are following how the theory correlates to the practice.

I feel pretty good about that aspect of my life right now.

When I reached my 210 lb. goal, which I have been using as one way to gauge my progress in the Qabalah, I had a deep transcendental experience. After being laid off for months, and working for $1 over minimum wage, I was able to get a job back in my current profession.

My profession is in education.

I also got insanely sick.

I usually don’t get sick, so this was a bit of a downer. While simultaneously getting the biggest leg up I could have hoped for. Me getting a professional job again in many ways is the answer to all my prayers.

Prayer is something I have been learning a lot about lately.

I am captivated by Crowley’s  alleged quote to “Invoke often,” and to be “enflamed in prayer.”

It is part of my escape from the Ruach and to start to see the world via the Neshamah.

My greatest revelation about the efficacy of prayer has been the Metta meditation of Buddhism. Though due to my Thelemic persuasion, and Luciferian leanings, I don’t seek any kind of good guy badge about the “Loving Kindness Meditation,” which is another word for Metta.

I am happy to stick to my Vampire (energy) work with it. I can practice the Metta meditation for my self. My wife. My loved ones. I don’t push it much further than my students and my co-workers. I don’t particularly want to. I will let my will guide me towards who I channel the field of Metta for.

And today it all gets tested, just like being sick my first week of a great job.

My house was broken into. My laptop (which is my most precious material possession) was stolen. There are all kinds of strange details about it, but thats the bottom line. My house was broken into. My most precious material possession was stolen.

Is this a synchronicity to help me transcend the Ruach?

I will definitely use it that way.

It won’t be the first time in my life I have faced a derailing on this level. It probably won’t be the last.

So perhaps I am feeling more resilient as a result of my work (as in THE work). I believe this is the case.

I am learning to try to focus my thoughts, my energies, my actions, my intentions towards the few things that I believe are aspects of my True Will.

All in all, life is good. Its hard, but its paying off. So continues THE work.

Love is the law. Love under will.

As I continue my work in the Sephiroth
Netzach, I am learning to be more focused. To settle my thoughts, to not allow myself to be distracted.

In my journey the idea that I may think too much was an unexpected problem, one I could never have truly imagined as a problem in the first place.

I love reading. Learning about new topics. I am a science buff, a math buff, a comic book nerd, a role playing gamer, a history buff, my mind is in a constant gorging on massive amounts of trivia.

Thats not to say this stuff is not important, ignorance disgusts me. But I can safely say I have reached a point in my life, my education, my habits, and my pleasures that ignorance is not a risk.

But distraction is.

In fact I blame my weaknesses for distractions that I have not advanced further in life.

Luckily in my quest to live according to the Law of Thelema and to pursue my Great Work; that is, my True Will, I am finding it crucial to liberate my mind in the tradition of eastern mystics and zen masters, to be able to think less.

What must replace all this thinking? The will!

I personally subscribe to the Thelemite philosophy that the True Will is revealed, slowly through an initiatory process, with disciplined efforts and personal transcendence.

But, I also believe I have gained pieces of this True Will in my work. I have glimpses of how it must be.

There are many who believe this is impossible, that to attain any glimpse one must be in an advanced degree in an order, attain the difficult, long lasting, grueling ritual of “Knowledge and Conversation with the Holy Guardian Angel” and other such efforts. I strive towards these things as well, I am 32 now, I hope by the age of 50 to have achieved some substantial amount of these efforts.

I do not plan to wait until I am 50 to make my life truly meaningful, and to put forth efforts in my every day life to incarnate my will.

I believe my magickal work now will eventually come to a blending with the initiatory work of my chosen order, the noble Ordo Templi Orientis Grand Lodge USA.

I believe that this will be like a psychic mushroom cloud in my being, and that I will become maximally effective in executing my will, I will play my karmic role in perfect harmony with the universe. I will live according to Paulo Coelho’s description of the Personal Legend in his book the Alchemist. Which he states that when a person pursues their personal legend “the whole universe conspires” to help them achieve it.

But I refuse to twiddle my thumbs while I await that moment. I believe my work has already revealed aspects of my True Will now.

I can also maintain that taking a skeptical approach to this work, the balanced scientific approach is to reserve judgment until the end. My theory is that the Great Work is largely an effort of psychological development. Of course, I start to sound like a conventional occultist if you ask me how important, vast, or powerful the psyche is in my world view.

But I believe until I do my working towards the Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel I will merely be getting clues, hints, small signs for where to go. I will begin to see trends, and follow the synchronicities of these trends.

For now I strive to bring my mind to a single narrow path. One thing I know for sure is an aspect of my True Will; that I must not remain obese.

I must lose weight.

I must attain a higher level of focus for this goal, this will.

I must clear my mind of other distractions until I achieve this goal.

I also want to inform the dear reader that I do not write this as a resolution but as a report of what is actually taking place.

I have lost 10 lbs. in the last month. I have been reshaping my habits, with the intention of keeping up my new habits for life.

New habits I am adapting are mindful eating, regular exercise, avoiding unhealthy foods, avoiding unhealthy food psychology (this is the biggest one).

I have been practicing yoga and fasting in order (among other things) to increase my awareness of my body.

I believe one of the ways I became obese in the first place was to live too much in my head.

Now the new phase of this effort is to focus in on it more. To acknowledge my obesity as a hinderance to my true will and overcome it.

I am also doing this in correlation with my Qabalah and Tarot work.

6 more pounds to Tiphereth.

 

The ancient Chinese astrology puts 5-7 am as the hour of the Rabbit.

This song is called Feurio by the German industrial band Einsturzende Neubauten. From listening to the Thelema Now! podcast its easy to infer these guys were deep in the occult/rock and roll renaissance of the 70s. This band’s symbol adorns punk rock idol Henry Rollins with a tattoo. This symbol is one of my personal sigils.

This band found me by synchronicity. This band, and its musick, for me are pure magickal. Sounds of some mechanical elven atlantis. Some post-human utopia astrally licking the wounds of a million years of Kali-yuga distopia.

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. 

With this music I begin my day and my magickal work.

This is when I begin my magickal/ real work out on most days.

I have to be at work by 8:30 am, so this gives me ample time to get shit done, to become more than I am, to get ready.

My first 30 minutes may be spent lifting weights, or just farting around. I am trying to add a regimen of 30 minutes of true mindfulness meditation. Though recently this time has been filled by self-hypnosis videos (which I am still experimenting with) or guided meditations, or occult podcasts, etc.

Working out is definitely part of my magickal work. I do almost all my Astral Work while jogging, and I believe that lifting weights is also having a positive effect. I believe this works in much the same way traditional Hatha Yoga works, the Magician gains control of the body before s/he can assert control over anything else.

My muscles strain, lactic acid is released. So is testosterone, which is the stuff of sexual arousal. Hypersex anyone? My current studies on Sex Magick have me convinced that an enhanced state of sexual arousal has a huge magickal pay off. Wilhelm Reich who is considered to be a pseudoscientist and a crackpot, but is very popular among occult symbols, believed this heightened sexual arousal incarnated a substance called “orgone,” Orgone, if its real, is the stuff of powerful magick.

When I run, and I pursue my astral form. When I receive my daily visions. I want to have my orgone levels as high as I can.

The above song helps. One of these days I will father a child to that song.

When I jog my heart rate will rise. I will push my legs. Lift my knees. Control my legs with movement of my shoulders. Remember folks, I am over 200 lbs. This shit takes a lot of fuel. But it makes a lot of fuel.

I will pray a mantra that was given to me in a revelation:

“Adonai Eloheinu,

Lord God,

My Eros begets Uriel,

My Silence; Horus,

Delay = Atlantis,

I am a Knight-Monk of Atlantis,

Amen. ”

I will repeat, over and over and over and over again. I will repeat silently in my mind all day as much as I can remember to do so. I will be enflamed in prayer. This prayer is an equation. It is charged with information, totally dense. One day it will deserve its own episode of Occult Skeptic. But for now just know these words are my vehicle of destroying thought, of purging my mind of the unfocused clutter, and with all my intellectual intake the clutter is a maelstrom.

I will keep running. I will use Industrial, New Age, Goth, New Wave, and Heavy Metal music to allow my limbic system to produce the proper emotional states. That of the Angel. My Angel is two things above all others: horny and angry.

I will activate my Chakras when my prayer repeats “My Eros begets Uriel.” I will do Vampire work giving and taking energy from my loved ones. My family. My coven. My cell of Assassins.

Sometimes the prayer takes over completely. My run feeding into my militancy, for the essence of my work is to capture the “Knight-Monk” concept as envisioned in the Wermacht of the Great Beast: Aleister Crowley.

Sometimes the prayer gives way to visions, a waking dream. When I snap out of it I may have moved a mile, my body cranking out, raising the heartbeat. My mind in another place. One of these days I will get ran over if I am not careful.

I will follow up with Dawn Resh and the Lesser Ritual of the Pentegram. Though starting today I am invoking in the morning and banishing at night.

I usually do at least a little Santeria as I get ready. Lately my Santeria has been devoted to Chango.

I can honestly say that at least 5 days a week this is how I start my day. My pay off for doing this for the last few months has been tremendous and has already created the desired pay-off I was looking for when I started my occult work, which was elevated levels of personal energy. Exuberance. Lust for Life.

Love is the law. Love under will. 

So the phase I am in right now is about trying to understand the True Will.

I guess if I intend to remain a Thelemite, thats always going to be what phase I am in.

I am totally sold on the idea of the True Will. I have a moving goal post about what it actually is but I will submit a True Will continuum.

At one end the True Will is at least the best aspects of you being manifest in a tremendous task which reflects your best aspects and has the highest ethical payoff for your personality and disposition. The other end is that it is the destiny, the will of God, the real pre-incarnate purpose of your life.

The True Will is a great purpose of life.

One’s understanding and revelation of the True Will should be in progress, it should be at some level an understanding that is constantly blooming and being refined. With certain major magickal pay offs along the way. After all, learning one’s True Will  and accomplishment of it is the real purpose of the Great Work of Thelema.

Even if one is not a Thelemite, I truly expect one to have a sense of this to be of any positive element in my life.

I despise the human inertia and its tendency to be the default mode for so many.

I have become convinced, since this seems to be so prevalent, that most people just blunder through life waiting for something to happen to them or for them. No goals. No real goals. No need to make a major contribution. No hunger.

I am particularly grieved when I find this kind of purposeless inertia, this muffled Will, in those who I find intelligent and attractive (not just good looking). I see there so much waste,  it really gives me cause for mourning.

The True Will lives in the unconscious.

This means it goes beyond just setting goals. Its the thing that will ultimately tie your best goals together.

It is the thesis of your whole life if you live it correctly.

One is always in a holy maze, on a quest, over coming obstacles to find greater and deeper revelations from the unconscious about your True Will.

I have so little of my own True Will mapped out. But I feel like I have enough to act. I also end up being a quite typical Thelemite in the sense that most of my Magick is geared towards deeper revelation of my True Will through invocations of my Holy Guardian Angel in a progressive journey towards knowledge and conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel for deeper revelation of the True Will.

Just to explain the Holy Guardian Angel, many Thelemites believe this is a being which lives in true independence and represents another realm and has a bond with you towards a greater purpose. At a minimum it can be understood to be an imaginary friend which represents the voice of those unconscious aspects which are so benevolent you are trying to bring them out. Your HGA (Holy Guardian Angel) gives voice and guidance to these aspects. My own beliefs lie somewhere in between, and I am still experimenting.

I just mention this to explain for those who didn’t know and so that if I discuss my HGA people will know what the hell I am talking about.

I envision a sort of blend of Kali (the Hindu goddess of death), Santa Muerte (a Mexican Santeria goddess of death and probably the universe), Nuit, the Whore of Babylon, Aphrodite, Mictecacihuatl (the Aztec goddess of the underworld), Hathor,  essentially a goddess who is totally sexy, totally irresistible. But in the end she represents your death. Your end.

When I see her as male, I see her as the archangel Uriel, who is the angel of Art, among other things.

I envision her when I jog in the morning. I have an imaginary place I speak with her, envision her, reflect on my life as it is and seek guidance. She mostly provides good questions.

I also think of her in my Resh, my Santeria, my chaos magick. She is always invoked if I am trying to do something Magickal.

It is also important to understand that on a certain level, your HGA represents your self. Your highest self. You incarnating your True Will.

I see this technique, as I am currently using it,  as very fallible, when I was a Christian I thought I heard the voice of God in my internal dialogue and stumbled my way into many bad ideas in the name of the guidance of God. One should always refrain from excessive faith in things that you do without necessary preparation in the mind. The human brain is prone to deceptions for its own purposes, which have been programmed into it by evolution.

But I believe my techniques of imagining these interactions and shaping my actions through them, albeit with restraint and skepticism, I am slowly building up the lattice work, the base of the pyramid, that will eventually allow me to have good techniques for using my HGA.

In traditional Thelema this is called Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel. It usually involves years of preparation, and extremely long and arduous ritual work. It is not hard to imagine how this might allow one to build a truly useful HGA.

Though I can’t stress enough, most Thelemites would recoil at the idea that you are building your HGA, it is building you.

I am just providing a naturalistic framework for how this could work. I am still experimenting.

I am using this technique as a way to distill, to start to get the faintest of grips, on what I really, really, really want to be doing right now. Every day. Manifesting my True Will.

We talk about art. Writing.

I believe one aspect of my True Will I have discovered is that I want to publish my comics, continue to record my podcast, write these blogs, work on my books. To speak. To get my messages and stories out there.

They all have a theme, the themes of what I call radical education, personal development as political revolt, universal freethought. I believe it is my True Will in some small aspect to pursue spreading these memes via my art and writing.

I also believe as I pursue a deeper understanding of the True Will that I will refine and see which aspects of these things are more important than others. My steps on the path will get more precise, a run towards the horizon becomes a graceful tightrope walk beyond the horizon.

Specificity, grace, maximum pay off with each step, I believe that these things will flow into my actions as I gain a deeper understanding of the True Will.

Do what thou Wilt shall be the whole of the Law!

Relationships are such strange beasts.

As we try, often awkwardly to become a meshed bi-being with another willful mind. Or at least the kinds of relationships I like are willful.

What kind of symbols emerge from these states. Especially romantic and sexual relationships. Fetish is always present as a source of symbol. So is romanticism.

I think of all the codes of chivalry and how they perpetuate an imagination of a relationship.

Relationships are definitely fucking memetic.

Ideas replicating in our sex lives. Picking the genes that get spread. Eminent biologist E.O. Wilson called this meme-gene coevolution in his book Consilience.

Bonnie and Clyde are symbols that swim around in my mindscape. And all manner of gothic imagery kept well watered by daydreams since my adolescence.

I believe that the true lovers must serve a cause. They must be some sort of strange sexual biproduct of a greater war. Probably because of too many action movies and comic books.

But I enjoy my hypersexual intoxication.

I first heard the word hypersexual on a documentary about the comic book writer Grant Morrison who transforms himself through writing a hypersexual version of himself in the comic book The Invisibles.

I believe this is the most beautiful thought.

To transform oneself through fiction into a hypersexual being. I want to do this.

Hypersex is probably operationally described as a sexual arousal at psychological baseline. We all probably have some dormant physiological measure of sexual arousal. Some kind of cellular readiness factor.

But the hypersexual mage does this consciously. By his Will.

He wants to be turned on. He uses his perversions through conscious activation.

Wow. Does that sound like a recipe for an indecent exposure charge or what?

No, he is a man maintaining his manhood one stride further. And woman to me is so much more than woman when she does this, she is a star radiant to be worshipped with all faith.

Relationships are intended to be a gift.

This outcome is worthwhile. Delicious. The backbone of all myth. But it requires militancy.

Love is the Law. Love under Will.

From now on when I put the current time and date on the Thelemic calendar that means the following will be a quick update blog.

 

Do what thou Wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

I have now been in my hometown for the last two months after resigning as a teacher. All in all I have never been happier.

Life differently has a different pace here, after the busy Dallas Metroplex, I am now in a lifetime where the end of civilization is 15 minutes away driving and everywhere I go I see people I grew up with. A good condition for a wizard who can master their environment in accordance with his Will.

It will remain to be seen if I pull this off. Though my task is to do so with great haste.

I did a lot of brujeria spells for my old friends. It was a good ritual to break any ice left from our separation and to keep the strong vibe of eternal weirdness in our relationships. I am a counterculture type, in my hometown thats a heavy weight to carry. Its the kind of place where if someone got burned at the stake it would take a while for everyone to figure out why thats such a big deal.

But in spite of all my chaos magick-santeria tendencies, I know that there is something to truly be unlocked with the rigor of the Hermetic tradition. Especially, for me, Thelema.

Thelema is now definitely my religion, as I sail my 3 types of atheism.

The religion of the Will, as established by Aleister Crowley. Though I do not deify Aleister Crowley above myself, and it first he was the biggest turn off about Thelema.

I have a different opinion now thanks to reading so much of his work.

But I have only skated the surface.

I am reading the Blue Brick as it is affectionally called by Thelemites. I want to read it cover to cover, but its turned out to be a true journey to try to do that. I should start a diary for that on this blog.

I am now reading the Magickal Tools section and have already finished the Yoga section. I also suspect this book will be one of my lanterns for the rest of my days. I will be coming back to these writings many times over.

The thing which appealed most to me about Thelema was the whole True Will as a basis for ethics, and the idea that this is the motherfucking Aeon of Horus and that its time to manifest Will or we will otherwise manifest the Kaliyuga, that Hindu dark ages we are believed to be in now.

Calendars are a trip. Perception of time is a trip. I encourage all magicians to trip out on time as much as possible. Make your own calendar. Make your own chronometer. Study the science of time as the 4th dimension. Ponder destiny, or naturalistic determinism which has no free will or destiny. Follow synchronicities as they lead you, to see what happens to your perceptions of time. Try living in the now as the sages teach, you will fill the powerful tug of time.

Forgive my above digression, I want all sentient beings to awaken to their True Wills. I believe this kind of Willful world would be much, much better than the one we live in now. It also seems to me to be an anarchistic world, should it ever manifest. But what do I know of the fulness of time?

I also like that Thelema seems to be picking up steam in the real world. Maybe I have a kind of creepy corporate technocratic mentality about all that, but I predict Thelema will be here and strong for another century no fucking problem. It is flexible, it is clean, and it empowers its users. I am thrilled that Thelemites tend to be at the cutting edge of technology, I have been told that in the early days of the internets Computer Science guys would transcribe the Crowley stuff. Before scanners.

Now there a couple of great podcasts Speech in the Silence and Thelema Now! 

These two podcasts had a great deal of influence in my decision to study Thelema, and eventually go to the Dallas Oasis: Bubastis.

There I met high quality people, most of which were engaged in creatively proactive lifestyles I admire. Proactive is probably a good word to describe a Thelemite.

Its a good religion for me as well, because there is nothing in it which goes against what I want to do or believe. One can be a Thelmite atheist, one can use all the chaos magick or other weird shit you want. Its there for the taking.

One need not even participate in an O.T.O. or Abbey of Thelema body. One can just freeball it.

I truly appreciate the Thelemic system, especially with my primary goal of practicing magick being self transformation. I want to manifest a perfected version of myself. I want to function at an excellent capacity and to achieve as many of the things I believe are worth doing as I can.

I believe the Thelemic ritual and initiatory system helps with this. As well as the hermetic philosophy behind magick. The mind is our greatest gift and our greatest burden. With Thelema I bridle mine.

Love is the Law. Love under Will.