☉ in 20° ♎ : ☽ in 18° ♉ : Anno IVxix a.n.

Posted: October 14, 2011 in Confessions of a New Aeon, Uncategorized

As I continue my work in the Sephiroth
Netzach, I am learning to be more focused. To settle my thoughts, to not allow myself to be distracted.

In my journey the idea that I may think too much was an unexpected problem, one I could never have truly imagined as a problem in the first place.

I love reading. Learning about new topics. I am a science buff, a math buff, a comic book nerd, a role playing gamer, a history buff, my mind is in a constant gorging on massive amounts of trivia.

Thats not to say this stuff is not important, ignorance disgusts me. But I can safely say I have reached a point in my life, my education, my habits, and my pleasures that ignorance is not a risk.

But distraction is.

In fact I blame my weaknesses for distractions that I have not advanced further in life.

Luckily in my quest to live according to the Law of Thelema and to pursue my Great Work; that is, my True Will, I am finding it crucial to liberate my mind in the tradition of eastern mystics and zen masters, to be able to think less.

What must replace all this thinking? The will!

I personally subscribe to the Thelemite philosophy that the True Will is revealed, slowly through an initiatory process, with disciplined efforts and personal transcendence.

But, I also believe I have gained pieces of this True Will in my work. I have glimpses of how it must be.

There are many who believe this is impossible, that to attain any glimpse one must be in an advanced degree in an order, attain the difficult, long lasting, grueling ritual of “Knowledge and Conversation with the Holy Guardian Angel” and other such efforts. I strive towards these things as well, I am 32 now, I hope by the age of 50 to have achieved some substantial amount of these efforts.

I do not plan to wait until I am 50 to make my life truly meaningful, and to put forth efforts in my every day life to incarnate my will.

I believe my magickal work now will eventually come to a blending with the initiatory work of my chosen order, the noble Ordo Templi Orientis Grand Lodge USA.

I believe that this will be like a psychic mushroom cloud in my being, and that I will become maximally effective in executing my will, I will play my karmic role in perfect harmony with the universe. I will live according to Paulo Coelho’s description of the Personal Legend in his book the Alchemist. Which he states that when a person pursues their personal legend “the whole universe conspires” to help them achieve it.

But I refuse to twiddle my thumbs while I await that moment. I believe my work has already revealed aspects of my True Will now.

I can also maintain that taking a skeptical approach to this work, the balanced scientific approach is to reserve judgment until the end. My theory is that the Great Work is largely an effort of psychological development. Of course, I start to sound like a conventional occultist if you ask me how important, vast, or powerful the psyche is in my world view.

But I believe until I do my working towards the Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel I will merely be getting clues, hints, small signs for where to go. I will begin to see trends, and follow the synchronicities of these trends.

For now I strive to bring my mind to a single narrow path. One thing I know for sure is an aspect of my True Will; that I must not remain obese.

I must lose weight.

I must attain a higher level of focus for this goal, this will.

I must clear my mind of other distractions until I achieve this goal.

I also want to inform the dear reader that I do not write this as a resolution but as a report of what is actually taking place.

I have lost 10 lbs. in the last month. I have been reshaping my habits, with the intention of keeping up my new habits for life.

New habits I am adapting are mindful eating, regular exercise, avoiding unhealthy foods, avoiding unhealthy food psychology (this is the biggest one).

I have been practicing yoga and fasting in order (among other things) to increase my awareness of my body.

I believe one of the ways I became obese in the first place was to live too much in my head.

Now the new phase of this effort is to focus in on it more. To acknowledge my obesity as a hinderance to my true will and overcome it.

I am also doing this in correlation with my Qabalah and Tarot work.

6 more pounds to Tiphereth.



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